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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) seriousfic | |
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It's exactly what you'd expect. It's not worse, like Transformers 2, which promised giant robot action and didn't deliver (in fact, it stomped on your shipment, then sold it on eBay, then wrapped a poo up and delivered it to you instead). But it's not any smarter than it has to be. In fact, I think it's as dumb as it needs to be, plus it also got hammered and is now nursing a hangover (the movie never does reveal how the Mayans knew that the sun would get POed at us and start shooting mutant neutrinos at us, which in turn cause the inside of the Earth to get gooier than usual and cause a million different disasters at once). Maybe now that Dollhouse is canceled, Joss Whedon should get a job rewriting disaster movies. All the witty dialogue you can fit in between fx, and there would actually be a reason for everyone to end up depressed and alone. I should mention that the filmmakers have probably never heard of feminism. There are female characters, but you get the feeling they're just there to tick off the checklist so the movie can be sold to women, just like the Indian characters who primarily exist so the movie can sell in India and so on. None of them have any bearing on the plot. There are, like, five scenes when the main party is flying around in an airplane and the pilot says "you guys should come see this," so ALL THE MEN go up to the cockpit while the women sit and, I don't know, plan a sewing circle? I thought the movie was called 2012, not 1912. And there's something disturbing in how cynical it is to have the earnest black characters end up yelling at the President's slimy white weasel (why do these noble presidents always have slimy weasels in their administrations? It must get annoying having to constantly say "No, Neville, we can't solve the housing crisis with orphan tears") to do the right thing. We, of course, know he's a bad guy because he sneers at religion. Oh, and he's old and fat, while the good guys are young and pretty. It's all so patently false that you miss Will Smith, who at least gave ID4 some zip. When you long for the authenticity of the Fresh Prince, you know a wrong turn has been taken. These kind of popcorn movies always get the last line "not a bad way to kill two hours." At two hours and forty minutes, 2012 does at least kill more of your day for the same price. ETA: Is it just me, or does the trailer to Kick Ass make it look like Sky High 2: The New Class? Which I would so be up for, by the way. That plant chick was hot. Tags: look i'm reviewing something!
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pottersues | |
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TITLE: Who knows..?PERPETRATOR: Mrs_J_PotterSUE-O-METER:  (toxic) FULL NAME: Stephanie Leung SPECIES: Witch HAIR: "medium-length black sleek hair, with crimson streaks all through" EYES: "dark brown eyes"/"chocolate brown eyes" MARKINGS: "Two ear piercings on each ear", "I’m tanned as I travel a lot to Australia and I’m always around my friends." Being around your friends makes you tanned? POSSESSIONS: Sue-friends Sanice Embleton, Bella Jones, Cassandra Thompson. Brand-name crap: "Sanice accidentally turned our normal brown suitcases into Louis Vouitton ones. (And also accidentally turned our 1997 Honda Civic into a Lexus.)". She buys a "Firebolt 2000". She has an iPod that plays Stiff Dylans' "Ultraviolet". Her room looks "exactly like the one back home. My wardrobe with all my clothes for the four seasons neatly folded inside, every wall which is supposed to be showing a royal purple colour is covered in posters of Twilight, Gossip Girl, Jonas Brothers and many other Disney stars etc. There’s a piano in the corner with a CD player next to it also my study table with photos of my family and friends and then my bed." Her bathroom is "enormous, clean, white bathroom that had a beautiful deep and long bathtub, and a nice shower with these little fishies on the tiles, two basins, two mirrors and two toilets, and did I mention there was a Jacuzzi in here?" *face smash and rub against keyboard* ORIGIN: They know about Hogwarts as a series of novels, like everyone else. Then she and her friends get their letters to Hogwarts and magical abilities late. Dumbledore makes an exception for them "because apparently we’re "in touch" with our magical abilities and we have different kinds of magic". CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Her friend has a vision that she is going to be co-Head Girl with Hermione, and Draco is going to be Head Boy. The three of them are going to live in a dorm together. Nice. She meets Draco is Diagon Alley, where she gets into an argument with him about his character while trying to purchase a new broom. At Hogwarts, Dumbledore explains to them that they are actually all descendants of Godric Gryffindor and Rowena Ravenclaw, and there has been a prophesy made about them. The four girls are going to "save us all". They are all sorted into Slytherin, except for Bella who is sorted into Gryffindor to be paired with Harry Potter. SPECIAL ABILITIES: "rebellious". Plays the piano with her friends in their band called "On the Brinc". NOTES: Remember how I said that the last Sue had a lot of pepper-jack cheese in it? This one is worse. Like I feel like I have to pay extra for it. ( Why do you have to write down your magical abilities? Are your memories that bad? )Tags: founder's heir, ipod, pepper-jack cheese, toxic
Current Mood:  predatory
Current Music: Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
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seriousfic | |
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Star Trek reboot: Stress Relief Session (Uhura/Gaila/Chapel) -- This is pure porn, but it gets a rec for how ridiculously hot it is. I could masturbate to just the warnings list. Medical roleplay, restraints, dirty talk, facesitting, fingering/implied fisting, implied female ejaculation. Check it, won't you? Star Trek reboot: Pants Are Overrated (Chapel/Rand) - Ignore the title, this is a very gen piece about the survivors coping with the aftermath of the tragedies in the movie, which happens to involve two women finding comfort with each other instead of a man and a woman. Jennifer's Body: Maybe Jennifer/Needy - Very short, very sweet. Jennifer and Needy have a very different kind of relationship then is usually presented, since they're obviously extremely close, yet they date other people, yet there's canonically a sexual component to their relationship. uselessmarks takes that and runs with it.
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